Hi Manny. It’s great to hear from you again. I hope you’re doing well 🥰

Tusnelda and Martin have had their dream of finally starting a family shattered. They’re both in a lot of pain, but unlike Martin, Tusnelda is taking a lot of the blame. Martin is right when he says it can’t be her fault 💔

Don has finally been shaken out of his shallow, irresponsible outlook on life. It is a shock for him and it will definitely require a lot of processing before he finds the man he can be.

LOL! Both Elijah and I were somewhat surprised to find Akira in Elijah’s bathroom 😂

This was a poignant and emotional chapter! I like how you showed the devastating emotions Tusnelda and Martin went through after the miscarriage. It especially hurt to see Tusnelda put so much blame and guilt on herself for something that wasn’t her fault 💔 But it was touching to see them being there for each other through this difficult time

And Don! My man is going on quite a journey, and possibly a transformation? I’m excited to see where he ends up!

Lastly, I wanted to point out this line that made me laugh: “I needed a toilet and figured you can’t refuse an ex-lover that favor. Besides, the door was unlocked.” says Akira.

Thank you for your comment.
Today I am also glad that I shared this topic. You are so right when you point out how much blame is placed on the woman. It is a natural and healthy process for the body to destroy fetuses that do not develop as they should. Of course, that doesn’t make the disappointment easier to bear in the first place. When society adds guilt and shame on top of that, it is a sign of inhumanity 💔

The subject of Martin’s painting is one of the game’s random gifts, but it makes so much sense in this chapter.

I love having Elijah and Fatima as a happy counterbalance to all these characters who are now in some kind of crisis.

Katrina has hopefully finally dismissed Don as an option and that’s good for both of them. Don’s approach to life is too laissez faire for him to get there on his own. Now he has found the remains of his life among the debris and his paralysis has returned. It is time for him to ask himself the important questions about how he ended up here.

Fatima and Elijah are floating on pink clouds together. Life is absolutely wonderful for them and they are enjoying it to the fullest. They are the bright-coloured balance to the darkness of this chapter.

Katrina… sigh. More and more I get the idea that the Don in her head, and those “loving caring qualities”, are not the same as the Don in real life. Yet she’s trying to will it into existence and gets mad when the obvious result is failure.

Poor Tusnelda, and poor Martin. My heart bleeds for both of them. To want a child so much and to have it fail is always a blow. I hope Tusnelda doesn’t feel like she’s less of a human being for it. My mum explained miscarriage to me at a young age, and how much stigma and misunderstanding is built up around it.

I love the little painting that Martin made. Even above grey clouds there’s still a sun. It’s hope for the future and I hope that he passes that sentiment on to Tusnelda. She’ll need it. That scene in the hospital is heartbreaking. Oh, honey. Miscarriages are not the woman’s fault. The fact that such a large part of our society is convinced otherwise is a terrible thing.

Don and Dephine’s overlapping scenes are so well done. They’re drawn to each other on a level that neither of them understands, least of all Don. But it’s also really messing with his headspace, too. Fingers crossed that Valentino can be the bridge that reconnects them.

Oh, Tusnelda… she’s not at fault. I wish she knew that.

I want to put this out here, because so many women are wrecked with feelings of guilt and shame and inadequacy when they shouldn't be. There are so many misconceptions around miscarriage – while they are the body doing what it is designed to do. A miscarriage doesn't mean that the woman is not good enough, or not taking care of the fetus properly. Miscarriages are a mother's body saving her from a bad fetus. Our wombs are constantly testing the fetus during pregnancy and if it fails those tests, then our body is designed to do everything it can to expel it. Not because the woman did something. Not because she’s at fault. But because that fetus simply wasn’t viable. All it would have done, eventually, is threaten the mother’s life. I dearly wish more people knew that. Miscarriage is not your fault. It’s never your fault. Please don't let anyone convince you otherwise. </3💔

Thank you so much for your really kind words. I know the last two chapters have been hard to get through. This applies to me as well as to my readers. As I wrote in another comment, it is a balancing act that the profound should not end in sentimentality. I am therefore extra happy about your comment 💖

All development often starts with a breakdown and a pain. Why else would you leave what feels comfortable and familiar? Hopefully, a positive development will come out of Tusnelda and Martin’s tragedy 💔
This applies not least to Don as well. He has found his familiar life in the trash. Now the only way is to start from scratch.

I’m heartbroken for Tusnelda and Martin but I always had a bad feeling that it wouldn’t be easy, so I was afraid to hope. I know they’re strong, though, so I feel pretty certain they’ll make it, together.

I also still have hope for Don, but I’m glad Katrina broke things off since he can’t get it done himself! 😂

Thank you very much for your comment cathytea ❤
I am so glad that you think it is healing to write about this topic and you are right that this may have become a form of self-therapeutic. I hope it can help others feel seen.

Involuntary childlessness is highly taboo and associated with shame. I really don’t think Tusnelda has anything to be ashamed of. Shame creates distance and walls.

Hooray for Don! Although he’s probably not having too much fun right now. He really needs to have his values replaced. An intervention was probably necessary 😉

I’m very happy to see that Don’s destiny (thanks to a little intervention) is coming about! I’ve been waiting for this for so long!

Thank you for your comment. I’m glad you liked the chapter and found it evident and believable ❤
It is definitely a sensitive subject and I made an effort to strike a tone that did not end in the sentimental. I really feel for Tusnelda and Martin right now.
It was surprising that Martin started painting a picture with the sun and clouds, but somehow it fit the theme of this chapter perfectly.

I really feel worried about Tsunelda and Martin. This has hit them both so hard. I just want to hug both of them right now.

This whole chapter was quite emotional, and I have a lot of reactions to it, but I always find those kind of responses hard to put into words. It’s extremely good and well written though. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences in the end comment. It’s very evident that you have personal empathy for Tsunelda and Martin from the way you write about them. It feels very real.